Underwear 1/2 Off

She was a concerned person who claimed to have been very involved in some environmental group in college, but now shops at WallOff-Mart because of underwear being 1/2 off the price of the other leading stores .
As she slowly navigates her SUV into the packed parking lot, she looks around to find a space close to the door. Circling nine times she spots a space off in the distance, she puts the transmission in reverse to beat the other car from getting there first.

Upon arriving at the parking spot, she notices the sign, “Mothers Only” clearly marked. Since the unwanted pounds had packed on this last winter, she could definitely pass for being pregnant. Getting the sprawling vehicle into the space, she looks around to see if anyone is watching. As she darts toward the door passing at least 10 carts, and 2 of them being in the spot next to hers marked Handicapped Parking, she enters the store to find a fresh dry cart inside.

Making her way down the aisle she spots bottled water 3 for $3, not knowing Polish Springs was owned by a French company, pumping water from underground springs in the upper peninsula of Michigan . Grabbing the bottles quickly she heads for the underwear department. She knows she only has 30 minutes before picking up Suze from soccer camp she shoves her cart toward her destination.
When arriving she spots what she had come for; the half priced underwear; cool, cotton, no frills, made in one of those countries she knows little about, for the kids. Grabbing up 6 packages of 3, looking at her watch she realizes she has made her journey for half priced underwear in less than 10 minutes and has at least 15 minutes left to look around.

Spinning the cart around aimlessly, she notices off in a far corner, beckoning the call for spring, plastic garden hoses 50’ $6.93. She puts the hose in the cart, even though there was at least 3 inches of snow in the yard, since the last hose was run over by her in the SUV after the kids left it out in the driveway running all night.
If only the ChemYard man she had paid 189.00 for some kind of special treatment, hadn’t insisted she keep watering the yard, even though the drought was the worse in more than 50 years. She had to keep the promise by sneaking around at night to keep water on the treasured, treated yard.

Managing to make her way to the edge of the gardening section, a brightly colored package marked BUG B GONE caught her attention. As the anger from remembering the kids had trashed the last hose she was thinking subconsciously KIDS B GONE as she loads two 40lbs pesticide bags into the cart.

Making her way to the checkout with just 5 minutes to spare, and remembering the parking lot was packed, she approaches the checkout lines only to find 3 cashiers with at least 30 people in the lines. After looking at her watch with just 4 minutes left, she spots the express line. The sign says up to 9 items only, she looks in her cart and counts 11 things, but who would notice since all she came for was half priced underwear.

Tapping the lady on the shoulder in front of her she politely asks, ‘would you mind if I go ahead of you, I’m late for picking up my daughter’. Sneeringly, the lady looks in her basket and counts, ‘but you have 11 items in your cart, you should be in the other line anyway’. She has been busted, so she waits angrily behind the insensitive woman. As she finally makes her way to the cashier, it is time for them to change shifts. She doesn’t know WallOFF-Mart only allows employees to work a maximum of 30 hours a week to avoid paying health insurance. Enraged, and now being 10 minutes late, she is glad to tell the cashier how inconvenient it is for her that they are changing shifts.

Making her way out the door she is running. ‘I am late, hurry up put the stuff in the SUV’, she thinks. Look at all of the trouble the cashiers have caused. Loaded up, she pushes the cart into the Handicapped Parking spot. What’s another one, since there are already 4 of them there now?

Driving in a rush to get to soccer camp, her daughter is angry. ‘What took you so long’, she screams. ‘Well, I was at WallOff Mart and there were these slow cashiers and this rude woman’, she proclaims, ‘look in the bag, I got you new underwear’. Her daughter yells, ‘mom, how could you expect me to wear anything as homely as cotton underwear, it would cover my belly button ring?’

‘Damn it, you don’t like anything I buy you, and if it weren’t for the fact I was going there because of the hose you left out in the driveway…’

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